WORDS FROM A FATHER TO A SON ABOUT MARRIAGE

Today, I choose to go beyond the line. This means I won’t talk about postcards this time. I stumbled on an article in my facebook newsfeeds and I feel the urge to share it to you as I think this may benefit married people like me. The article was written by Nigeriacamera with a note saying that the article can be shared freely.

So here it goes…

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(credit to the photo owner)

WORDS FROM A FATHER TO A SON ABOUT MARRIAGE

1. My son, if you keep spending on a woman and she never asked you if you’re saving or investing, and she keeps enjoying the attention, don’t marry her.

2. My son, a woman could be a good wife to you, some could be a good mother to your children but if you’ve found a woman like a mother to you, your children and your family, please don’t let her go.

3. My son, don’t confine the position of your wife to the kitchen, where did you get that from? Even in our days, we had farm-lands where they worked every morning . . . that was our office.

4. My son, if I tell you that you’re the head of the house, don’t look at your pocket; look if you will see a smile on your wife’s face.

5. My son, if you want to have a long life, let your wife be in- charge of your salary, it will be difficult for her to spend it when she’s aware of the home needs and bills to pay but if it’s in your care, she will keep you asking even when all has been spent.

6. My son, don’t ever beat your woman, the pain in her body is nothing to be compared to the wound on her heart and that means you may be in trouble living with a wounded woman.

7. My son, now that you’re married, if you live a bachelor kind of life with your wife, you will soon be single again.

8. My son, in our days, we had many wives and many children because of our large farm- lands and many harvests, there are hardly any land for farming anymore, so embrace your woman closely.

9. My son, under the cocoa tree that I did meet your mother could be your eateries and restaurants of nowadays, but remember, the closet thing we did there was to embrace each other.

10. My son, don’t be carried away when you start making more money, instead of spending on those tiny legs that never knew how hard you worked to get it, spend it on that woman that stood by you all along.

11. My son, when I threw little stones or whistled at the window of your mother father’s house, to call her out, it was not for sex, it was because I missed her so much.

12. My son, remember, when you say your wife has changed, there could be something you’ve stopped doing too.

13. My son, your mother rode the bicycle with me before I bought that tortoise car outside there, any woman that won’t endure with you in your little beginning should not enjoy your riches.

14. My son, don’t compare your wife to any woman, there are ways she’s enduring you too and has she ever compared you to any man?

15. My son, there is this thing you people call feminism, well, if a woman claim to have equal right with you in the house, divide all the bills into two equal parts, take one part and ask her to start paying the other part.

16. My son, I met your mother a virgin and I took more yams to her father, if you don’t meet your wife a virgin, don’t blame her, what I didn’t tell you is that our women had prestige.

17. My son, I didn’t send your sisters to school because I was foolish like many to think a female child won’t extend my family name, please don’t make that mistake, the kind of female achievers I see nowadays has made the male-gender an ordinary tag.

18. My son, your mother have once locked up the cloth I was wearing and almost tore it because she was angry, I did not raise my hand to beat her because of a day like this, so that I can be proud to tell you that I never for once beat your mother.

19. My son, in our days, our women had more of natural beauty, though I wouldn’t lie to you, some had minor painting of their appellation mostly on their arms, the ones you people now call tattoo, but don’t forget that they didn’t  expose any part of their body like your women of nowadays.

20. My son, your mother and I are not interested in what happens in your marriage, try to handle issues without always coming to us.

21. My son, remember I bought your mother’s first sewing machine for her, help your wife achieve her dreams just as you’re pursuing yours.

22. My son, don’t stop taking care of me and your mother, so that your children will take care of you too

Comments flooded the said article with so much focus on #5. I think many guys disagree on this because not all wives are good in budgeting, needless to say, investing a portion of the money for their future. I am married to a marine engineer who spend most of his time on board a ship. The law in the Philippines states that 80% of the seafarer’s salary will go to the allottee (either the parents or the wife), and only 20% will be received by the seafarer as his own savings or expenses for his own needs. I know a lot of seafarer’s wives who are lucky enough to receive 80%, if not 100% of their husband’s salary. But I also know a lot of them who ended up with a broken marriage because of money matters.

My husband knows my skills in investing and he would even dare to give me 100%, but his company had let him sign a contract which is 50/50. That means I will only receive 50%, though it can be rectified as per request of my husband.  At first, I was also fighting for my right as per the law states to receive 80%, but I later realized that it’s a way that we can both test how my husband should handle the 50% as well. Before when he was only receiving 20% and from that he could only save 1/4 of it. The 50% is too much and we can see this time how much he can save.

One thing that I am sure of is that I trust my partner. I always tell him to know his limits when spending because his job isn’t that easy. And he didn’t fail me on that matter.

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